Love and hugs to you, my dear friend.
I remember two years ago when my father passed, and that morning the intensity of the sounds in nature were both comforting, but so odd. Like the wind just sounded louder, as did a breeze, or the crunching of a leaf, every sensation I had in the barn, smells, sounds, were magnified. I'm glad you sense the snow as softer right now. A blanket.PS I don't know if it is selfish to bring up my own experience, it's just I've been thinking of you all day, and then it harkens me back.
No, I don't think it's selfish at all. It's comforting. This morning my hearing was so sensitive. I told Sarah I could do anything but talk on the phone. I walked out to the barn and the sounds of the approaching snow storm were overwhelming... my footsteps, birds, the wind, just like you describe. I didn't know if anyone had had that experience.My Mom died very peacefully ~ there was a point when both Sarah and I felt we'd entered a transcendent realm, deep in the night. I felt like I was in a warm cocoon, changing. I told Sarah ~ We've come to the point of complete peace. We've arrived. In a way it felt as though two worlds overlapped for a moment - she left in one, and we were left utterly changed in the other.
"I walked out to the barn and the sounds of the approaching snow storm were overwhelming... my footsteps, birds, the wind, just like you describe."...yes, yes, yes, that was it, just like that. The overlapping part, yes, yes...I also felt his energetic parts here for days, like there were bits of him that floated by in tiny miniscule flecks of light or color...I still see them, but don't assume them always to be him, I think this farm is inhabited by many, just checking in from time to time. Surely Dutton Hill is like that. It moved to hear about preparing Cebah too. What a poignant ritual you were able to partake in. "Utterly changed"...yes, I told someone recently that I understood my father so much more, and in a much deeper sense on the day he died...and myself to, I saw myself in him and vice versa much more, I was much kinder in my flaws becasue they were his flaws too, to have to leave the party, you know, it's humbling. ANother sensation on flying back home afterwards, I felt VERY alive, more than ever before, more intent than ever before to live and work. [and you know I already to this intently, but it heightened that sense , even to this day.
and the birds...their singing was so amazing. That cold. snowy morning and the birds, trilling all at one time. Unearthly~~~~~
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