I asked the Ancestors and Eshu, that tricky one,
to help me dream, to bring
strength and understanding - because parting is hard.
In the dream I was making a film of myself -
a film of how I comfort myself when I am alone.
I was in my moss bed, at the great tree's root,
and also in a wonder house, in the inner room.
But then you were there too - you'd come back -
beautiful, as always, with the dust of the
road on your shirt.
We embraced and said, "I missed you." to each other,
just as we always had, in one voice.
Then I noticed a stone, like a small wheel,
embedded in the earth, and picked it up to see
the shapes that fitted in its whorl. "This is a special one!" I said
and then turned to you and said,
"Maybe the others are like us -
they make the barricades just
to keep from feeling the loss of love."
Looking out from the hillside we
were surrounded by the eternal Spring ~
there were iris, and catalpa trees in bloom.
It was so beautiful! ~ I turned the
camera toward the West and pressed record -
but then I knew
that new film took the place
of what I'd filmed before.
That's when I woke up, from the dream, and heard her
breathing still, in her last bed beside me, and remembered
what she'd cried out at the edge, before she fell
in sleep, in peace - "Let's make up! Hold me! Love me!
I got up in the darkness then, to write these
words, so that I could sing them at the end;
"You'll Always Come Back!"
[10 minutes to 4 am, Dec. 13, 2009]
In the meantime -
keep yourself good company,
and remember all
prepares you to be free.
(Alf, stone, notebook. Ase ~ Eshu!)